A tale of two concerts

There's an old joke: What do you call a guy who likes to smoke pot and hang out with musicians? The drummer.

We've seen three professional concerts in Europe thus far: the Florence Philharmonic Orchestra, a kammerorchester in Vienna and the Prague Royal Symphony Orchestra in Prague. The Florence concert was described here.

Vienna

Luckily for me, Jenn was around to translate. A kammerorchestre is a "chamber orchestra", which means about 15 musicians. A symphony orchestra is bigger: 50 to 100 musicians. A philharmonic orchestra is... well, sorta like a symphony orchestra. (Hmmm. Methinks someone needs to be retested on some of her music history courses.)

The chamber orchestra performed in the Orangery at the Schonbrunn Palace, which was a unique setting as it was in the Schonbrunn Palace that Mozart, at the decrepit age of six, first performed. After that concert, it was noted that "[Mozart] performed wonderfully, stopping only twice to ensure that Mr. Snugglesworth, his teddy bear of long acquaintance, was still paying rapt attention." After he grew out of his footsy pyjamas, he also had a sort of early duelling banjos concert with Salieri in the Orangery itself. All in all, a very cool site for the concert.

I thought the music was delightful--despite the lack of drummers--but Jenn, too smart for her own good, noted that "the thirds weren't as even as they should be." I'm content in my ignorance of what that means.

I'm also grateful: seats for the evening were funded by the Smiths as a graduation gift. Thanks, Wayne and Margaret! As the competing alternative was to enjoy the 2 euro standing-room-only tickets to the Opera, my feet (and ears) thank you.

Prague

The Prague orchestra had a drummer. I cracked the joke at the top of this post to Jenn, who haughtily informed me that it didn't apply to orchestras, and that they were properly called "percussionists," thank you very much.

Well, OK, I can buy that.

But it also had a cymbal...player? Cymbalist? A guy with giant shiny things on his hands. I mention this only because advertisements for the concert proudly proclaimed "Fifty musicians!" (exclamation marks theirs). Now, really... the cymbals? Is that a musician? I suppose "Forty-nine-and-a-quarter musicians!" isn't as catchy, though.

What are the auditions for that like? "OK, clap your hands. Good, good. Now, quickly. Good, good. Any allergies we should know about? Silver, brass? No? Great. You once worked with an organ grinder? You're hired!"

Jenn was quick to point out, with a meaningful glance to my feet, that at least the cymbals-man could stay on the beat. Point taken, but I still think the joke applies. After every cymbal crash, the man would slowly rotate the cymbals to be palm-upwards and navel-gaze at them with such fierce intensity that there could be no doubt what he was wondering:

"Dude...where are my hands?"

With a little further rotation the light would dawn, literally: the cymbals would reflect the light onto his face and he would realize, "oh...under the cymbals!"

So, fine. What do you call a guy who likes to smoke pot and hang out with well-dressed musicians? The percussionist.

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, he's a real musician and I can't dance. It's still funny.